One for Love
by jlauren
Summary: AU season 7.  Topanga must deal with the changes in her life while Cory bears the consequence of her actions.  Shawn and Angela must come to terms with what they want from each other.  Eric, Jack, and Rachel all must face their futures and the real world.
1. Undone

**One for Love**

A/N: The following takes place after the first couple episodes of season seven. For all intents and purposes, however, I've kept Topanga and Angela in the dorm, rather than moving in with Rachel. Also, the general disclaimer, I do not own BMW and am not affiliated with it in anyway.

**Chapter One**

"**Undone"**

Topanga woke up in a sweat. The room was still dark, Angela still asleep in the bed across the room. Kicking the blankets off of her body, she pulled herself out of her bed and opened the door. Crossing the hallway, she softly tapped on the door to room 368.

"Cory," she whispered. "Cory, are you awake."

She continued to tap softly. The door swung open and a grumpy Shawn stood in front of her. He opened the door to let her in, and motioned to the sleeping body. Topanga shot him a look of apology for plucking him from his slumber, crossed the room and sat on the edge of Cory's bed. Placing a hand on his shoulder, she whispered softly, "Cory, Cor- wake up." Rolling over, Cory sleepily sat up and rubbed his face.

"Topanga… what's wrong… it's two am…" he started incoherently.

"I know, I know," she said. "I couldn't sleep. I just… I don't know what to think anymore… everything is just…" She rambled on. Cory shushed her as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down beside him. She nestled in beside him and found comfort in the rhythmic breathing as he fell back asleep. Closing her eyes, she pushed all of her thoughts aside and tried to find comfort in Cory's arms. Laying there for what seemed an eternity, Topanga grew restless and tried to move out of Cory's embrace. Nearly out from under his arm, he too awoke.

"What are you doing," he whispered loudly. Topanga shook her head as a tear slipped down her cheek. Cory grasped her arm tightly, urging her to lie back down with him. Pushing him away, she crossed the room, wretched the door open and disappeared. Though he was tired, Cory disentangled himself from the bedding and followed her out the door.

"Topanga," he called out. She was halfway down the hall. Upon hearing his voice, she stopped briefly, choked back a sob, and continued away from him. Breaking into a slight jog to catch up with the distraught girl, Cory reached out and pulled Topanga into his arms. He said nothing. She cried against his chest. Cory bent a kissed the top of her head. Sniffing, Topanga looked up into Cory's face.

"I don't know what's wrong with me." Neither spoke. They stood there for a minute, frozen in time. "Cory," she said, finally breaking the silence. "What's wrong with me?" A witty retort popped into Cory's head, but he brushed it aside. This was serious. As much drama Topanga created in his world, it had never escaladed to this level. Rarely had _this_ side of the girl he loved so dearly surfaced.

"Topanga, there is _absolutely_ nothing wrong with you. You hear me?" He didn't wait for an answer. Moving to the wall, he slid down, pulling her to the floor with him. "You are the most amazing person I've ever met. Don't you ever for a second think that there could ever be something wrong with you."

"Cory," Topanga started slowly. She looked at Cory's hand covering her. "Cory, I just feel so empty." As soon as the words left her mouth, Cory felt his heart break. He, too, gazed at their entwined hand. An uncomfortable silence settled over the pair. In all of his life, he never felt so ill at ease beside this girl. Things had been difficult at times, yes. The breakups and fights weren't pleasant, but Cory had always held steadfast to his hope. Now, looking into the eyes of the only girl he had ever loved, he could plainly see what he had been overlooking for the past couple months. The pain, the hurting, it was all very evident to him now. Cory knew that Topanga's world was crashing down around her. He had naturally assumed that he could be her pillar of strength, but sitting now with her in the middle of the dorm hallway, middle of the night, he realized for the first time that maybe things wouldn't be so okay anymore. Resolving to ease the hurt she felt, Cory quickly tried to think of something, anything to help her realize that no matter how alone she felt, no matter how much emptiness she felt, that he would never be far from her side.

"Topanga, look at me." She shook her head. "Please," he pleaded softly. Another tear escaped down her cheek. Releasing her hands, Cory brushed the tear away and cupped her chin. Bringing his forehead to hers, he closed his eyes and sighed. "I love you, Topanga Lawrence." He pulled away from her and sighed again. "I know you don't believe in love right now, but you'll see. Maybe I'm still young and stupid, but I know that we're meant to be together for the rest of our lives." Topanga forced back tears and her urge to hold onto Cory and never let go. "Topanga, you know better than everyone else that I can't be like everyone else. I can't give up on love. It has yet to let me down. I'm not going to tell you what everyone else will tell you, either. Topanga, we _love_ each other." Cory grasped her shoulders. "We love each other, and that's the only reason I need to know that you and I belong together, that we're not too young to be married." Cory fell silent. _I don't know if I can make it better. Please, God, please let me make it better._ An eternity passed. Cory inched close to his love. He wrapped his arms around her. She resisted at first, but whether it was the weariness of being up for the entirety of the night or something else, a something she didn't dare try and think about, she caved and allowed Cory to pull her body to his. They rested, both worn out emotionally and physically. Cory felt Topanga's breath deepen. Believing that she was asleep, he found himself kissing the top of her head yet again. With her back to his chest, Cory couldn't see the tear trickle down her red cheek.

"If you don't love me," Cory whispered, "then why would you run to me?" Cory closed his eyes and laid his head against the wall. Slowly tracing circles on her forearm with his thumb, Cory sighed, his heart heavy. "You said," He again whispered, "that the only relationship you believed in ours was dead. You have no idea how much that breaks my heart, do you? I never truly realized just how much you've never believed in us. It's times like these when I wonder if all I am is fooling myself into thinking that you love me. Maybe I was your excuse. I was safe. Safe meant that you never had to get hurt, that you never had to take chances. You didn't give up Yale for me, did you?"


	2. Unknown

**One For Love**

A/N: Thanks for everyone who read the first chapter. And thank you, also, for the kind review. It was greatly appreciated.

**Chapter 2**

"**Unknown"**

Eric and Jack dumped the last of Eric's boxes in his room.

"Glad to have you back, bud," Jack said, slapping Eric on the shoulder. Jack was truly glad to have his best friend back. After things fell apart with Rachel, he wasn't sure what to expect. All he wanted now were for things to return to normal.

In the other room, Rachel sat on the couch. She wasn't sure what to expect, living with Jack. And Eric. Things had changed after they had broken things off. Moreover, he had changed. She couldn't quite put her finger on what it was exactly, but whatever it was, she didn't like it. And Eric. As strange as he was, she and Jack both knew that he was holding them at an arms length. What Rachel had noticed, however, was it wasn't just herself and Jack that Eric kept at bay, but rather their entire group, his brother included. Rachel wasn't sure why, but she was determined to find out why. It pained her, slightly, to see Eric like this. Sure, his antics were still strange. But he wasn't just the same. No one was these days, she lamented. Everything was changing. And that scared her so much. These last few months at Pennbrook were it. Her life was waiting for her. And yet, she still had so much to learn. They all did. The real world was beckoning, but Rachel wanted nothing to do with it. Her thoughts were interrupted when the guys joined her. Eric sat on one of the bar stools, Jack collapsed onto the couch beside his ex-girlfriend.

"We should go out tonight, celebrate, you know, the three of us back together," Jack declared. Rachel looked over at Eric who nodded slowly.

"Sounds good!" She agreed. "Eric, where do you want to go?" He got off his stool, opened the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of juice.

"Doesn't matter," he said, concentrating intently on the bottle. "Wherever you want is fine. I'm just going to go unpack." He left the room. Rachel and Jack looked at each other. The tension was palpable. Jack cleared his throat and looked away. Rachel rubbed her hands on her jeans.

"I'm just-"

"I think I'll-" They both started at the same time. The pair laughed nervously and looked away. Rachel stood.

"I'm just going to go study." She, too, left the room. Jack, alone, sat on the couch.

"Maybe things can never be the same," he whispered to himself.

---

"I talked to Angela today." Shawn finally broke the silence in the room. He couldn't take it anymore. It was deafening. He didn't get an answer. He didn't expect one. "You know, every time I talk to her, I feel like she's coming around." He fell into the hush again. The walls were closing in on him. He didn't have the girl, and after last night, he didn't have his best friend. He wasn't sure what had happened between Cory and Topanga, but whatever it was, it wasn't good. Shawn had seen every facet of Cory's vast emotional range, but this was a new one, and that scared him for some reason. The urge to run, to get away suddenly became overwhelming; Shawn glanced at the clock beside him on the dresser.

"Well, it appears to be that time of day. Angela should be getting back from class. And I plan on waiting for her. You know, try and worm my way back in a little." With that, Shawn stood, tossed the magazine he'd been reading aside, glanced again in Cory's direction, and strolled out the door.

Once the door clicked into place, Cory looked up, pushing aside the torrid flood of thoughts that occupied his mind. His head fell back, hands drawn to his face. He sighed, he needed a distraction. He slowing got up. His jacket was hanging on the back of his desk chair. He grabbed it. He opened the door. Topanga was on the other side.

"Cory," she said, surprised to see him standing before him. "Cory, I-I just wanted to talk to you about last night." She looked into his face. "Is everything alright? You don't look-" Cory cut her off.

"I'm fine. Actually, I can't talk right now. Maybe later." He pushed past her, leaving the door to his room wide open. Topanga didn't know what to think. Her eyes trailed his form as he disappeared down the hall. This was a new development. Cory always had time for her, no matter the circumstance. He rounded the corner. Topanga shifted her gaze to his empty bedroom. It was neat enough, especially for housing Shawn and Cory. She walked in a few steps and looked around. She had been in that room so many times, but she'd never really looked at it. She never noticed the little things. His books were stacked neatly on his desk; his bulletin board hosted a variety of pictures of Shawn, Cory, and her. Under a picture of just the two of them was a wrinkled piece of paper. Topanga moved the picture aside and began to read. _Sun. The only. The one. Donut in the sky. Space, big gaping place. Without, within our skin. Donut in the sky. _Topanga had tears in her eyes by the time she had finished reading the poem. After all these years, she couldn't believe that Cory had kept her poem from their project in the sixth grade. She sat on the edge of his bed. She jumped when Shawn entered the room.

"Shawn! You scared me," she said, breathless, hand covering her heart.

"Topanga, what are you doing here?" he asked. "Where's Cory?" Topanga stood.

"I don't know. I came over here to talk to him, but he left. He didn't say where he was going." Shawn looked to the ceiling and ran a hand through his hair. Shawn took a deep breath and gave the girl a level stare.

"Topanga, I think we need to talk." Topanga shook her head. She couldn't handle this right now. Not from Shawn. Not now. Too much was happening. Too much had happened.

"Shawn," she said slowly. "I just don't think I can do this right now."

"There you are, girl. I was wondering where you were." Topanga breathed a sigh of relief. Angela walked into the room. Looking over at Shawn's serious expression, her smile faded. "Did I interrupt something?" She crossed her arms and looked at each in turn.

"No! No, I was just leaving." Topanga wasted no time leaving the room. Angela gave Shawn one last look before following her roommate out the door. Shawn ran a hand through his hair again and flopped onto his bed.


End file.
